Check out Mike Ramey’s latest commentary, “”Bullying And The Truth – Part One”:
A few years back, one of the best ways to liven up a divorce custody case would be for one parent to ‘declare’ that the other parent had ‘done’ something to the children. The one who had dropped the nuke–in many cases–were not going to get custody in the first place. The rationale–kick over the card table so that one could/would get their way by judicial decree. Never mind who got hurt, or whether or not the other parent would have been the better parent. The ‘nuking’ party wanted their way…and pretty much got it, via legal ‘bullying’. Thanks to no-fault divorce and joint custody agreements, this weapon has been pretty much neutralized, but not totally erased from society.
BULLIES – A SURVEY AND A DEFINITION:
To me, a bully is one who tries to get their way ‘over’ another person by any means in their ‘kit bag’. They can use threats. They can use manipulation. They can use force. A true bully is easy to spot and is usually a person who is trying to get their way over another person. Institutions can ‘bully’ their participants. Bosses can ‘bully’ their employees. Co-workers can ‘bully’ each other–or entire workplaces. Spouses can ‘bully’ spouses. Single folks can ‘bully’ those with whom they’d like to date or marry. Countries or nations can bully ‘weaker’ nations.
Let’s not be fooled. TRUE bullying is about power and control. The cocktail of selfishness. In our ‘app’ era though, bullying is rapidly being used to form a ‘cottage industry’ and take dollars from taxpayers while increasing political/social/sexual preference power for the socially selfish. This is just another ‘issue’ that is being manipulated to further ‘silence’ possible public dissent against those who want to ‘flaunt’ their rebellion against social norms. Of couse, the social ‘victims’ tend to forget one thing…they often demand that the very people who have the guts to stand up to their foolishness ‘must’ clean up their self-destructive behavior–after running its course.
A BULLY…FOR HAVING AN OPINION?
By now, many have heard of the incident out of Wisconsin where a female TV news anchor was called obese by a viewer. Furthermore, the complainer made his views known on a FB page that belonged to the woman’s husband–who also is an anchor at the same TV station. After seeing the publicity photos of the woman in question, I’d have to side with the complainer. The truth is the truth…and it was amazing how many people came to the defense of the female anchor. Sadly, the supporters of the woman called the complainer ‘a bully’ for exercising his right to his opinion.
Let’s consider a little reality here.
What if the TV station’s consultant decided that the female anchor HAD to lose a few pounds ‘for the good of the station ratings’? Would the consultant be called ‘a bully’? Would the station be accused of ‘bullying’ for wanting slimmer, trimmer TV personalities representing their ‘brand’?
I think not.
In the media profession, those who appear on the air or in print have to develop a ‘thick’ skin. They were hired for their looks and/or for their talent, skills and abilities. I’ve heard of, and seen TV and Radio personalities fired for a variety of reasons. These were ‘business’ decisions. Not the best ones, and oftentimes not in the best interest of the media personality. Nevertheless, they were ‘business’ decisions.
It may ‘shock’ many of you to know that there are those who have ‘stalked’ me and sent me ‘nasty grams’ for the columns I have written. It’s part of the territory. You can’t write about a topic without bumping into a few trolls. Former Fox TV Network commentator Brit Hume once said, and I’ll paraphrase: “Jesus Christ are the two most dangerous words that can be uttered in American society today.”
Could I contact federal authorities about my on-line trolls, stalkers and haters? I would be within my rights to do so…but it would defeat the satisfaction of exposing the foolishness I receive. Would I call my critics ‘bullies’? That would be rather childish. I knew the risks. I knew the job was dangerous when I took it! I may disagree with them, but they aren’t going to stop me from saying what I’ve got to say. As we used to say, back in the day: “One monkey don’t stop no show!” I know the Constitution, rely on Jesus Christ, and keep on stepping–and writing. Everyone has an opinion, whether they have the courage to state it to your face, or talk about you to other writers or individuals. Stating an opinion does NOT make on a bully.
A BULLY…FOR BLUNTLY DEALING WITH A FREAK?
One of the things that I have noticed in our ‘app, post and text’ age is that there are more and more people who ‘revel’ in being jerks and fools. There used to be a way you could tactfully state your beliefs. However, with more and more people deciding that they have to be ‘mega viral’ in order to hype their individual relevance, the usual common sense safeguards have been cast away. We have a class of people who ‘get off’ on talking about their sexual orientation as if it is a civil right, when many know it is a moral wrong. This IS America. You have a right to be a freak! Just don’t bring it up to my face and expect me NOT to react to it! Further: Don’t hold a press conference, or prance around the Internet calling folks ‘bullies’ because they don’t appreciate your invading their personal space, or attempting to negate their gift of common sense by throwing your trash onto their front lawns.
THREE GOOD THINGS BULLIES DO:
Aside from all of the ‘hand wringing’ about bullying, they do have some benefits.
The first one: A bully will force you to stand on your OWN two feet and deal with what could be a major, real problem. Sure, you may call someone ‘a bully’ for telling you that what you are doing is self destructive and in bad taste. Keep in mind that someone is brave enough to tell you a truth that many of your so-called ‘friends’ have been hiding from you–for months or years. The second blessing is that a bully will force you to focus on reality. A bully doesn’t ‘allow’ you to exist in a dream world. You have to focus on reality. When David was taunted by Goliath, David had to focus on Goliath in reality…not fantasy. Real rocks cannot hurt imaginary beings. Rocks of truth can bring down real giants–and real bullies. Thirdly: A bully will force one to protect that which is precious to them. People who ‘step in’ and cut off gossip and/or slander from folks who are not able to defend themselves have great courage within them. Without a bully to taunt them, some people would not find their ‘inner strength’…nor would they need for God to get involved in their lives to help them develop a ‘backbone’.
A federal grant, a seminar, or congressional hearings WILL NOT stop a bully. To STOP a bully requires the person being bullied to RESIST! More to come–in Part Two!
Mike Ramey, a syndicated columnist and book reviewer, lives in Indianapolis, Indiana. THE RAMEY COMMENTARIES appears on fine websites/blogs around the world. Email Mike at manhoodline@yahoo.com. © 2012, 2013 Mike Ramey/Barnstorm Communications.
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God bless, peace, be well and keep the faith,
Dr. Vibe
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